Clarks Season 1 Episode 5: Dante and Randal and Jay and Silent Bob and a bunch of new characters and Lando, take part in a whole bunch of movie parodies including but not exclusive to the bad news bears, the last starfighter.
Todays episode is one of my favorites. It was written by Brian Kelley and directed by Nick Filippi.
In a series of amazing episodes this one always stands out. It mixes multiple movie plots into one episode and does so perfectly in the span of 20 odd minutes.
So the episode starts out at Dante and
Randal's 10 year high school reunion. Randal and Leonardo Leonardo both decide to pretend that they were suing the government for bad cheese, because you need a story to tell. You can't just tell the truth, it's an unwritten rule. Never mind that Leonardo Leonardo is a billionaire.
While Dante goes to see the baseball team, which he was a manger of, Randal starts to find out that every girl he dated in high school is now a lesbian. He takes pride in this fact.
While Randal is reconnecting with old flames and Leonardo is losing every reward, Dante gets beat up by his baseball team, because they don't remember him. Randal meets a pretty girl who wants to hook up with him. They end up in the closet where Randal finds a copy of the old Pharaoh game. It used to be in the school back in their high school days.
Randal steals the game and Leonardo hires Dante to coach the little league team. Leonardo almost offers Dante a million dollars to coach but he says yes too quickly. It's a damn shame. We've already set up the two major movies they are riffing on, Bad News Bears and one of my favorite movies, The Last Starfighter.
Randal beats the game and is recruited due to being the best at the game. It's right out of the last starfighter, except in that movie he is sent to be a starfighter and save the galaxy. In this episode, Randal is taken to a underground lab where three women offer to do anything he wants, hinting at having some fun, he instead asks for porn. He then finds out that what he was recruited for, was, well, right out of the game. He is to build pyramids.
Back in New Jersey, Dante is living the Bad News Bears life and turning the worst team into a superstar team. Since Jay, despite being a grown man, is still in the fourth grade, he can join the team. Once on the team he turns things around and they start winning every game.
Randal attempts an escape, only to end up in the guard station. They don't see him, he managed to keep out of sight and writes a message in his blood, puts it in a bottle and throws it out the window. We then follow a crazy series of events in which the bottle ends up in New Jersey, just as Dante's team wins. The bottle Randal sent out into the world ends up on the field with Dante and the others, one of the kids tells him their is a note in the bottle and Dante throws it out, ruining Randal's only chance to live.
This is about when The Temple of Doom story line shows up. They are in the finals, but all the kids are missing so Dante goes off in search of the kids. Instead they find Randal and accidently save him, but not before he tries to get Jay to take his place. They find a cult that tears people's hearts out. Forcing them to run for their lives. Dante finds the captured kids, uses his team to fight off the cult and saves their lives!
As they escape Randal goes back for the three women who were ordered to serve him, they are now lesbians. Dante forces the just freed kids to play in the finals, most of them haven't ate or slept in weeks. It's horrible, inhumane and well, it wouldn't be Clerks otherwise. Needless to say, Dante's team wins. The episode ends with Dante once more not being in the victory picture. Things never seem to go his way.
This is easily one of the best episodes of the series. If you haven't seen it, you really should go out and buy the DVD set!
Hello and welcome to the first episode of season 3 of Sliders, or well the second episode, which was supposed to be the first if it wasn't for Fox changing the order. This episode changes the rules of the game and should be viewed first, but logic has no meaning to some people.
It was written by the team of Tony Blake and Paul Jackson, directed by Richard Compton and has one of the more what the fuck plots of the show. I really love this episode and it gets referenced a lot, even in later seasons.
The Sliders end up landing in a subway tunnel as the train heads right towards them. They have to take off running, a task made all the harder when Remy trips and gets his shoe stuck in the rail. They try to get his new shoe off, but they can't do it in time. Luckily for them, this earth has a daily blackout. The train powers down. Giving them the time they need to escape with their lives.
On this world, gas is $410. That's insane. Who can afford that. They don't sell hotdogs. This whole world seems to be poor. That is until the only car we see pulls up with a plate that reads the crying man. She seems to be a big fan of Remy's double. She hits on him while the others learn that the whole paper in this world is one page.
They have 32 hours, so Remy goes with this new woman and enjoys lunch out in LA. Guys in motorcycles show up looking for them, they take off running. They end up trapped, when a woman takes off her helmet and refers to them as Sliders. She knows the Professors double. Her name is Logan. That's important! She studies Sliding technology.
The Professor's double died a few days before they arrived. Arturo finds this an odd turn of events. Sliding on this world isn't perfected yet. Everything that goes into the vertex comes out corrupted. Quinn and Logan come to an agreement. He will help her fix it so things don't burn up on reentry and she will help him control where they go.
Meanwhile, we start to learn that Remy is on a date with a stalker. When he goes to the restroom, we learn that his date thinks they are engaged. Is she engaged to his double, or just crazy? Who the hell knows.
Logan learns that she is Quinn's double. A female double. What a crazy turn of events. They are the same person, just with different names and different genders. We've never seen that before. It's kind of cool.
Wade is starting to get freaked out that they are being watched and Arturo believes that something is wrong with how his doubled died. Logan starts to hit on Quinn. It's a bit weird.
At the hotel we learn that Arturo was having an affair with Logan. Which shows us that she was lying to them, about that at least. The mystery is afoot.
Remy ends up finding a room that is a creepy shrine to him. She then walks into the room in a wedding dress. He needs to escape and fast, this woman is insane.
Logan opens up a vertex which gets out of control. Quinn ends up saving her life. This is where we learn there is more going on than we thought. The vertex had enough power to send an army through it. Why would they need that kind of power?
By this point we have three different stories going on. Remy with his stalker. Quinn with his double and trying to figure out how to fix the sliding device. Finally, Wade and Arturo trying to solve the other Arturo's murder.
Logan tries to get Quinn to skip the slide and stay with her. She even kisses him. She knows that they are the same person and she is using that to seduce him. It's a little creepy.
Wade uncovers footage of Logan pushing Arturo into the wormhole. They copy the file onto a floppy, such old times. Everything is starting to come to a head. At least until Wade gets caught and looses the footage.
Arturo tells Quinn everything, they are concerned that Wade is being hurt by the people who Logan works for, but she shows up and tells them how she escaped. She tells Quinn that he should still go to work. She even yells at Arturo, giving us a hint that she is not who she claims to be. Quinn goes back to the office.
Remy is trying to escape from his stalker, who wants him to sing for her. She wants him to sing for her, but he doesn't know his double's songs. Before he can get out of there, her real boyfriend shows up and he has to escape. He manages to get out of the house, meaning he only has a few hours to get all the way up to San Francisco. Remy and fake Wade learn that the Arturo double had a disk that proves how evil the company is. The double's wife lets slip that Arturo's double invented sliding and Wade lets slip that she thought he invented it on both worlds. He ties her up. They now have to find the real Wade before they leave.
Remy climbs onto the top of a train to make it in time. It's a crazy idea, but it's that or end up getting killed by the crazy boyfriend. This train goes over 200 miles an hour. Remy uses his belt to try and keep himself on the train, between that and the other guy on the roof he manages to stay on.
Quinn and Arturo start looking for the disk, which they find. They now have to trade it for Wade and escape before it's too late. They watch the disk and learn that Logan wants to use sliding to raid other world's for their resources.
Logan tells Quinn that they are doubles and she won't give them Wade. Quinn freaks out a little, not that I could blame him. That would weird me out as well. They fight and Logan pushes our Arturo into the vertex as well.
Thank god the vertex is fixed and Arturo returns to the world. Everyone thinks he is dead, he has time to try and save everyone. Quinn puts a virus in the computer and won't fix it till Wade is brought to him. Arturo shows up with a gun and helps them escape. Logan finds out that the computer had figured out her problem but Quinn had erased it. She is pissed, but too bad. She shouldn't have been evil.
Remy shows up at the hotel with a few minutes to spare, luckily Quinn and the others are right behind him. They open the vertex just as the bad guys show up. They live to slide another day. They land in LA, they learn that Logan switched out the chips in the timer. They can now land anywhere between LA and San Fran. Logan shows up and holds them at gun point. She wants the Quinn to come with her, He won't go, she shoots Wade but the Vertex pulls her and the bullet back into the timer. Quinn didn't send her home. She is now loose in the multiverse. Who knows where she has ended up. She could run into them at anytime on any world. God I love this show!
Welcome to part two of one of the best two-parters ever made. The aftermath of Buffy and Angel finally making love. This episode written and directed by Joss Whedon himself, starts off with Dru and a still injured Spike telling off the Judge for not doing more. It's a bit disarming, which sets up the gut punch that comes next. The ending of the teaser is Buffy waking up, alone, while Angel is outside in pain. We don't know it yet, but we are witnessing him losing his soul. A fact made clear when he feeds on some poor woman walking through the alley. Angel is gone, long live Angelus.
Buffy gets home and tries to take a shower before being stopped by her mother who hints that she looks different. From Buffy's POV it seems like her mother knows that she had sex. It hits her hard.
Back at the library the Scooby Gang is trying to figure out what to do. Xander and Willow want to go and save Buffy, but Giles, Cordy and Jenny want to wait it out. After all if the slayer and a vampire couldn't stop them what chance did the rest of them have? They are saved from having to deal with this conflict when Buffy walks in. She lies about what happened, pretending that she was separated from Angel in the sewers. She is very concerned that no-one had heard from Angel. She is starting to freak out.
So where is Captain Forehead? He is confronting Spike and Dru, or at least pretending too. When the Judge attacks him and he isn't hurt they learn the truth. He has no soul.
If that isn't enough of a gut punch, Willow catches Xander and Cordy making out. She does not take it well. The heartbreak in her eyes is visible. It kills me every time I watch it. And yes, she had just started dating Oz, but still. Xander is the one she had loved all her life. Of course it would hurt her.
Buffy goes to Angel's home to try and find him and he taunts her. He pretends to be Angel and just makes her feel so small and unimportant. This episode is one hit to the heart after another. It never lets up, for even a second. Such as the very next scene when Jenny learns that his soul is gone because Angel had a moment of happiness. The curse is finally told to us in full. Poor Angel.
Xander and Willow have a heart to heart when Xander comes up with a plan. Before he can tell us what it is, Angelus shows up. He sends Xander away and calls Willow over. If it wasn't for Jenny showing up and telling Willow to stop who knows what would happen. Buffy shows up and fights him off, but it kills her inside. How could it not? The man she loved had turned against it. Add to that the fact that he did it the da after they had sex the first time just makes it so much worse.
Willow points out that Jenny knew before the rest of them, but Jenny sidesteps the issue. Giles starts pressuring Buffy for information on what happened, but Buffy can't handle it and runs out of the room. Everyone is in full on panic when Xander announces he has a plan. He needs Cordy to make it work, but also makes sure to include Oz to make Willow feel better about it. I know the internet loves to hate on Xander, they find any and every reason to tear him down, while giving everyone else a pass, but this is just one example of what a great friend he is.
Angelus tells Spike and Dru all about his run in with Buffy and we start to get a sense of who he really is. Why go for the kill when you can go for the hurt. He loves the idea of torture. It gets him off.
Buffy has a dream that Jenny was involved with what happened to Angel. Buffy confronts her in the middle of class and Giles tries to stop her. Defending Jenny, but Jenny just comes out and admits to everything. She tells them the curse, pointing out that Buffy is responsible. This is when Giles finds out that Buffy had sex. Buffy's only care is that Angel gets cursed again. She wants to meet Jenny's uncle, which is what we believe the next scene is, only it's Angelus who shows up instead.
Oz's van pulls up outside a military base, while Xander and Cordy break in. They get stopped while breaking into the armory, luckily Xander still remembers everything from when he turned into his Halloween costume. He manages to convince the guard that he is a soldier who just wants to show his girlfriend a good time.
Back in the van Willow asks Oz to make out with her. Oz, being the best guy to ever live, in a fictional world or even real life, tells her how much he wants to. How he dreams of it, but he tells her that he won't kiss her. Because she just wants to make Xander jealous. When he kisses her, he wants it to be real. Because she wants to be with him. He tells her he can wait until she is ready. I really think this is the start of her falling for him.
Jenny shows up with Buffy and Giles to find her uncle dead. Buffy decides that the only thing left to do is kill Angelus.
Angelus, Dru and the Judge head out so that they can feed the Judge and get him to full power. Leaving Spike behind. Xander lets Buffy in on the plan. Everything is a go, except for one thing, Jenny wants to help. Buffy and Giles are in agreement, they want nothing to do with her.
All parties involved end up at the Sunnydale Mall. Right away the Judge takes his first victims as the vampires block the exits. The Judge is about to feed on everyone else when Buffy and co show up. It's a race against the clock. The Judge is hit with an arrow. He reminds her that no weapon forged can stop him, to which Buffy replies, "That was then, this is now" and shoots him with a rocket launcher. Destroying him. Xander's plan worked.
Buffy goes after Angelus. They fight under the sprinkler system. He goes for the hurt but she pretends like none of it gets to her. Buffy wins the fight but she can't kill him. At least not yet. She leaves him there, defeated and Giles takes her home. The conversation in the car is just one example of how great a person Giles is. Buffy is sure that Giles is disappointed in her. He tells her that he isn't. He knows she loved him, and that Angel loved her. Giles that he has no guilt to give her. All he has for her is support and respect. It's a beautiful conversation. He's a great man, an inspiration to us all.
The episode ends with Buffy and her mom talking about her birthday. Buffy tells her that she just got older, her mother tells her that she looks the same to her. It is one of the few times that I think Joyce did the right thing as a mom.
This is such a heart wrenching episode of television. Joss Whedon really knows how to bring the pain. You gotta love him for it!
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