Man of Steel! The darker version of Superman written by David S. Goyer, the man who said on an episode of Scriptnotes that She-Hulk was nothing more than a giant green porn star for the hulk to fuck. Great guy, who clearly knows next to nothing about comic books, but let's not let our dislike of this man color our viewing of Man of Steel.

Now I remember when this movie first came out and I saw it in theaters, I liked it. The look and feel of it blew me away, but I did have problems with it. Namely the Kents, I hated the way they made them. They gave Jonathan's role as Clark's father figure to Jor-el and that really bothered me. Jonathan is the one who gave superman his moral compass and that far more than any super powers made him into the hero that we all know and love. People complain about what happened in the end with Zod but that didn't seem out of place, even less so with this version of the character. It is really just how badly they messed up the Kents that hurt this movie the worst for me.

Now I haven't seen this movie since I bought the collectors edition from best buy a few years ago. I thought in honor of Batman V Superman I'd go back and watch it again. See how I feel about it now. It's an experiment of sorts. Let's begin!

The movie starts off with Kal-el being born. He is the first natural birth on Krypton in a very long time. Making him different than the rest of his kind. Krypton on this film looks so amazing and really makes me wish that the sy-fy show would hurry up and come out. I need to see more of this planet!

Like in all versions of Superman, Jor-el is telling the rest of his peers about the planet being doomed and no one listens to him. Zod interrupts and takes over, he will remake what is left of Krypton in his image. He places Jor-El under arrest but he manages to escape.

Krypton is a battlefield and Jor-El rushes to the codex, he means to save the DNA of his people so that they can carry on elsewhere. It is a really cool idea. We punny humans have a lot to learn from these people. They found a way to save families and keep their species alive even if the world dies. Take that nature! One point for science!

Zod makes it to Jor-El's home just as  the ship is about to takes off. Jor-El tells him everything, because why not give your enemy what they need to know to beat you. In al honestly no one was supposed to make it off the planet so it was kind of a screw you to Zod, I would have done the same. The ship takes off and Zod kills Jor-El.

Zod tries to take down Kal-El's ship but he and his men are captured and sent to the Phantom Zone. Oddly enough saving their lives as the planet blows to kingdom come. It is an ironic twist of fate.

On Earth Clark grows up and works on a boat as a fisherman, when a rig is set to blow and the captain orders them away Clark vanishes and goes to save as many lives as he can. It's who he is after all.

As he lays drifting in the water he remembers as a kid when his powers first started to kick in and how his mother helped him deal with it. It wasn't easy but he survived.

He washes up on shore and steals some clothes, remembering back to when he pulled his school bus out of the water as a kid. Show off!

And here comes the scene that pulls me out of the film. Now before you all tear me apart, I understand it. I get that Jonathan is trying to protect his son and he is right to do so. But he shouldn't be telling him to let people die. That isn't who he is. Who any of them are.

The reveal to Clark of who he is is beautifully done. It is so emotional, the line "Can't I just keep pretending to be your son?" "You are my son" breaks my heart every time. That is some mad writing right there!

In the present Clark is working as a busboy and stops a girl from getting beat up by her boyfriend but in the end he just walks away. The hero he wants to be is in there but not ready to come out. He is still scared to show the world who he is, but he is more than willing to destroy a town's phone lines to get revenge on the truck driver who was rude to him. In the words of uncle Ben, with great power must also come great responsibility.  

Amy Adams is my least favorite Lois Lane. Teri Hatcher was too perfect for the role. She gave the character life and a spunk that she needed. Made her an equal of not just Clark Kent but of Superman. Erica Durance picked up the part and made it her own, not an easy task but one she made look easy. Noel Neill and Phyllis Coates were both amazing in the role back in the 50's making the character seem like she belonged and could hold her own in the boys club that was the daily planet. Now if you are saying well that is TV, for a movie Amy Adams did a good job, I'd have to ask if you remember Margot Kidder? Ask anyone, when you think of Lois Lane you think of her. She owned the role, everyone else just borrowed it. To be fair to Amy Adams, I don't much remember what I thought of Kate Bosworth's take on the character so she might have her beat, I'd have  go watch it again.

Clark and Lois both find the Kryptonian ship at the same time. Clark has a key that let's him inside and brings to life a hologram of Jor-El, another part that I take issue with this movie on. Clark has always talked to a hologram of Jor-El and asked him for advice that part is fine but I just feel like in this film he took over too much of Jonathan Kent's role. In case you haven't figured it out yet, he is one of my favorite comic book characters and I don't like how this movie treated him.

Clark saves Lois from one of the droids, Clark, no secret identity needed. To be fair she has no idea who Clark is and there is no Superman yet. He flies the ship out of the ice right in front of the military. The ship had been there for over 18,000 years. Damn! That's a long time.

Lois reads Perry White her story where she correctly guesses that it was aliens. Now Laurence Fishburne owns the role of Perry White. He may not have  lot of screen time but when he is on the screen you can't look away. He is one of the highlights of the film and I really hope to see more of him! The only person who I like better in the role is Lane Smith, I'm sorry but no one is taking the title from him, cept maybe the king. If you get the joke I like you, I really do.

Holo-Jor-El, which is what I will call him from now on, fills Clark in on everything he needs to know. Telling him who he is and where he is from. The man of steel is on he verge of waking up. Clark puts on the costume and goes out into the world. Meanwhile Lois Lane puts together that Clark is the mystery man. For the first time ever Lois Lane figures out Superman's identity before he even becomes Superman, she may not be as interesting as the others but she is a better reporter.

A teenage Clark tells Jonathan, you aren't my dad right before he dies. Right out of Spider-man. Gotta love when DC steals from Marvel. Jonathan Kent runs back into the storm to save a dog when Clerk could have done it, he orders Clark not to go save him. He didn't have to die right there. He could still be alive with just a little foresight. It breaks my heart, like good movies are supposed to. Clark uses this story to tell Lois that he can't tell the world his story. Perry tears Lois a new one for going against his orders.

Clark returns home, his mother is so happy to see him. It must have been some time since he has been home last. He tells her that he knows who he is now. It's a bit ungrateful and you can see that it hurts her. It's as if the parents who gave birth to him mean more than the people who spent their whole lives raising him. The Kents deserve more love! At least Clark tells her that he won't leave her and calls her mom. That is something.  

Harry Lennix, the man who played Boyd on Dollhouse, great show by the way!, plays General Swanwick in the film. He is in charge of responding to Zod's invasion and he kills the role! After all he is a Whedon actor!

Zod taking over the TV's to tell the Earth that we are not alone and to demand to have Kal-El turned over to him is so cool!  love this scene.

The FBI arrest Lois and tries to force her to tell them who Superman really is. After all Zod gave the world 24 hours to turn him over before they destroy everything. Clark goes to a priest for advice and tells him that he doesn't know if he can trust mankind. The Priest tells him that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust comes later.

Superman turns himself into General Swanwick, on the condition that he lets Lois Lane goes. Superman tells him that they can never control him but he will allow them to turn him over to Zod. He wants to protect the Earth not be the cause of its destruction.

Superman turns himself over to Zod's men and they demand Lois Lane as well. The military says no but Lois agrees to it. Superman and Zod meet but Superman gets sick. Turns out that he can't live on their ship. He never experienced it since he spent his whole life on Earth. Zod and his men have been looking for Kal-El since Krypton blew up and the only reason they found him is because Clark turned on the damn ship he found with Lois and it sent out a beacon calling for them.

Zod tells Clark that he needs the codex to bring Krypton back to Earth, of course the humans would have to die to allow this to happen but it is a small scarfice. Clark says no, he won't be apart of this. Lois gets ahold of Clark's key and uses it, thus bringing Holo-Jor-El to her. He helps her escape from the ship. He then goes to find Superman and tells him that he can save the Earth from Zod and his men.

Zod and his men go to the Kent's farm looking for Clark's ship. They quickly find it but the codex isn't in it. Superman flies out of nowhere and attacks Zod. Zod gains Superman's powers far too quickly and the fight is now turned against Superman, after all he is out numbered. The US Military enters the fight. It is a full on war in Smallville. 

And in the midst of this war they manage to get in some ads, like Ihop! Smallville gets tore up! Like hardcore tore up! The military attack Superman like he is one of the bad guys but he still saves them when they get shot out of the sky. The guy is a hero after all.

The more I watch this movie the more I feel like it is Superman II on steroids, not that that is  bad thing. It's a lot better than I remember it. Zod's men take off and the military stops attacking Superman, they are starting to see that he is on their side. Oh and they get in an ad for Sears. Bloody hell the ads like a crazy person. Martha Kent is still alive and kicking. Clark can be a good son sometimes. He rushes in to check on her and make sure she is ok.

Lois figures out how to stop Zod's men at the same time tat Zod and his people figure out that the codex is inside of Kal-El. Things get tense. Zod sends out the world engine to remake the Earth so that he and his people can live on it without having to adjust to the environment.


Metropolis becomes a battle ground and wastes no time in being tore apart. Superman rushes to take out these world ship on the otherside of the planet while the military tries take out the one in Metropolis. Zod forces himself to adjust to Earth and gains more powers. Zod takes control of the ship that will allow him to use the codex to bring their people back to life.

The citizens of Metropolis try and stay alive as their city falls apart all around them. We see this first hand through the eyes of the Daily Planet employees.   Superman has trouble taking on the world ship as Zod shuts down Holo-Zor-El. Perry risks his life to save his people, now you want to talk about heroes, that man puts everyone to shame. After all who is more heroic? The man who can do anything or the normal guy who risks everything?

Superman destroys the world ship. When one was destroyed it shut down both of them. He did it! It took a great deal out of him. He can barely move after destroying it. Lois tires to active it but the key is broken and won't work. It messes up their whole plan. If the ship won't turn on they can't use it to get ride of the other one. Zod locks his ship onto theirs and is about to blow them away when Superman crashes into his ship. Zod tells him that this shop is Krypton's only hope and Superman tells him that Krypton had its chance.

He could have saved the ship. He didn't have to kill his people's only hope, there had to be another way. But Superman didn't even try. A quick victory was better to him than a longer harder one.

The ship that Lois is on gets attacked by Zod's right hand woman and all seems lose but the key finally goes in and they create their black hole, bringing everyone into it. Somehow Lois falls out of the plane and avoids that fate. Superman saves her in the nick of time.

It seems like it is all over. Zod's men are gone and Superman kisses Lois as Perry and the others watch on. It seems Zod didn't go down with the rest of his men. He is still here and not happy at all. Zod tells Superman that one of them dies. Their battle takes Metropolis back to the stone ages. The two men are going toe to toe, it is a great fight that has you on the edge of your seat. Zod is winning, Superman is winning, Zod is winning. It changes back and forth so fast that you have trouble keeping up. It's the best kind of fight.

And once more with the product placement, a Wayne Industries Satellite. Come on like Bruce Wayne needs their money. SMH. Zod forces Superman's hand and makes him snap his neck. This is the scene that so many people have a problem with. It makes sense with who the character is. There is nothing about what happens that makes him any less Superman. In fact I think it makes him a greater hero. He is willing to make the hard choices that need to be made. He is willing to take on that burden so that others don't have to.

The film ends with Clark Kent working at the Daily Planet and Lois playing dumb.  I know I had a lot of bad things to say about this movie but over all it is a really good film that I enjoyed a great deal. I can not wait to see Batman V Supermen tonight! And you should all be excited too! Don't let critics tell you what movies you should and shouldn't like. And yes I see the irony in what I just said. Deal with it!

All Things Must Pass is a documentary, yes another one, deal with it, about Tower Records and their rise and fall. Colin Hanks, the man who will always be Alex to me and many other Roswell fans,  directed this doc. Now the name Hanks, yes this is the son of Tom Hanks, and no not the rapper. Moving on.

For those of you who don't know, Tower Records was a music store. Back before ITunes was a thing. Russ Soloman was the founder of the place. His father owned a corner store and one day they started selling used records. It did great so they started selling new records. He bought the store next door and extended the building. Russ wanted to expand but his father said no so Russ bought the record company from him.

Tower Records quickly became a place for kids to hang out. The Beach Boys changed the game, selling more albums than singles. As the 60's came radio started changing the way people thought about music and Tower Records used this to gain more and more attention. He wanted to open the largest store in the world while also being the supermarket of records. While hung over in San Francisco he found the perfect place to open the biggest store. It was just sitting there and he went and leased it.

The store hit and people came in droves. It helped that San Fran itself was having people from all over the country coming in for the new music and 60's movement that was growing at the time. They even opened up a book store. Almost everyone in the company started off as clerks and mod their way up. Opening the store on Sunset Blv put them on the map even more than anything that had come before. It was the first building that they built themselves.

Singers would even hang out there. Even Sir. Elton John. He would come in and buy 3 of every album he wanted. The place just wouldn't stop growing. The employees could do whatever they wanted as long as they showed up to work. That was all that really mattered. They would drink all night and go to work in the morning.

The VP of the company ran just about everything. Russ was the free spirit who would let people do what they wanted as long as he finished. Bud, the VP, would control the money and was very strict about everything. 

In Japan some company stole their name so Russ just kind of adopted them and would sell his records out of their store. It wasn't doing well so they went to Japan and opened their own store, the first American owned company born there. It did so well that they opened a second store. It started to expand rapidly after that.

Each store felt unique. Almost as if they were the only store in the world. It gave it a home town feel no matter where they went. The death of disco messed the music industry a great deal. MTV and Michael Jackson's album Thriller saved the industry and brought it back to prominence. The last thing that saved music was the CD. It gave it new life in a time when it needed it the most.

Tower records expanded all over the world. It just kept growing and growing outside of the US and Japan. They felt like they couldn't be stopped. Costs kept going up on CD's and Napster came out. It was the beginning of the end of not just Tower Recorders but the music industry as the world knew it.

Tower records started losing money and they had to sell Japan. This nearly ruined them. Bud died and Russ got sick. It seems that everything started to come apart. They needed money from the back but they made Tower Records hire a new CEO. It was the only way they would allow them to borrow the money. The new CEO made them spend all the money on branding, for a company that was already well branded. She started closing different parts of the company. It was horrible. She all but shut Russ out of all decisions in the company. She was firing all of the long term employees.

Tower Records went out of business. They went from the top of the world to the bottom. Even something that feels like it will last forever has to end at some point in time. It was a hard lesson for the world to learn.

Japan gave Tower Records a second life. There are still 85 stores open over there, but not owned by Russ. The banks had him sell if off. This is such a great doc, go and buy it on iTunes now!

Safe House, not the new one with Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds that came out not long ago but the one from 1998 with Patrick Stewart written by Eric Steven Stahl, John Schalter and Sean McLain is a movie that I use to watch all the time as a kid. It didn't seem like something I would like but I always loved it. It just always got me thinking.

Right away you feel the age of the film. The computers are so 90's. Stewart has a fake mannequin in his bed and he gets a call from someone he calls the Admiral who tells him what time it is. It turns out that this general is running for the office of President. He has a list of names on his computer and a third name was just crossed off, right after the news says that he was murdered and it looked like a professional hit. Stewart puts in a manual override stopping a signal from sending out. He is clearly a military man who has a lot going on.

Some one tries to break into his house and he opens up a cabinet full of guns that would fill the Punisher with envy. The two men fight it out until the intruder takes the maid as a hostage. He takes his shot and kills the intruder, the maid  gets hit as well. Turns out the rounds were paint and the two men were practicing. His daughter is not happy. More like pissed.

She takes him to the hospital but first he puts on a disguise and hides in the back seat. He seems a bit off, like overly paranoid. He doesn't like to leave the house because he feels that it isn't safe. He tells the doctor that he isn't crazy, that he knows someone is after him and he knows who it is.

His daughter tells the doctor that her father never served in the military, that he is just making stuff up. He does have the signs of early Alzheimer's disease but that it shouldn't be causing him memory problems yet, but if it is making him this paranoid than he could go fast into full on Alzheimer's. His daughter tells her husband that she might have to lock him up, but he tells her that her father would never allow that. That the best they can do is hire someone to live in the house to take care of him.

He scares them all off one by one with his target practice. He is an expert shot. Until a woman named Andy, no relation to the asshole teacher at NLC, comes in. She plays along with everything and the daughter likes her. He wasn't going to hire her until he finds out that it is that or being put into a home. He is not happy about it.

He starts to study Alzheimer's disease on the odd chance that they are right He starts to see that he does have some of the symptoms. He goes out of his way not to be friends with his new live in help. He knows she is there to help him but he is not a fan of hers. He doesn't want to believe that he needs help.

She tries to change his diet and he freaks out, truth be told I don't blame him. I'd have her fired right on the spot for that. No one messes with my food! He goes out of his way to piss her off as he should. He has started to forget simple words, such as code. The disease is starting to attack him so he starts doing memory tests and playing games to help improve his mental state. He doesn't take any of his meds. Truth be told that is probably for the best.  There is a van that has been parked outside his house for days and another name from his list has been crossed off.

The help tries to put Stewart in his place but he doesn't take any of it. He snaps at her hardcore like. He won't let someone come into his house and take over. The admiral is on the way to town. Something he is not happy about.

His mental tests are getting worse and worse. He is having a harder and harder time holding on to information. The help finds out that he went through her room and is pissed. They get into a big fight about it and moments later he comes out with his gun, she thinks that he means to use it on her but she spots a rope dropping into the house and then spots him getting jumped by a man in a mask. His help saves his life by beating the masked man with a golf club. She finds out that it is his friend and plays along by not telling his daughter what happened.

The two of them start getting along. We think that they are having sex for a moment before finding out that they are just having really good dessert. He tries playing the guitar and forgets the cods and then starts repeating himself. He catches himself. The next couple days everything starts getting harder for him. He messes up putting together his gun, his aim is off. When he focuses he can remember things but when he says things that are simple he forgets things and gets them confused.

There is what looks to be c-4 under his daughter's chair. It turns out that it was just another one of his friends tricks. His daughter tells him that if he ever does something like that again she will put him in a home. Her husband tells her that she needs to get power of attorney. They are taking away his guns and there are no more war games for him. It's the end of what he lives for. The admiral is winning the election. He is on his way to the national.

Steward misses the games because they kept him sharp, his house keeper replaces it with chest. He isn't into it so she tells him that he can do his drills. She beats him and forces him to go outside. He puts on swat armor on before agreeing.

He starts to lose it, shooting into the ground to kill pests. He might have really lost it by now. Even his friend who use to do the drills with him has turned against him. Everyone thinks he has gone over the edge. Stewart's old team is all but gone. He tries to put in his override to stop the transmission but he keeps getting it wrong. He just can't seem to remember it. He gets it on his last try but it was a close one.

He can't seem to hold onto new thoughts anymore. He starts forgetting people's names. He is taking a shower when someone cuts his power. He is in the dark. His emergency power kicks on and he goes looking for the intruder. There are two attackers this time, telling him that it isn't a drill.

It's his friend and the house keeper, he hits them and they hit him but he freaks out and starts crying and screaming. He admits that they are right and he can no longer defend himself. It terrifies him. He goes to the doctor, not dressed up for once and even agrees to take the meds the doctor tell him. It means that he has to leave the house every week and he agrees to it. He has changed. The doctor tells him that any stress could make him forget everything. His house keeper watches him take the meds every day. They seem to help which is good since he is the last of his old unit still alive.

He can walk outside now and everything. All his old habits seem to be dying off. His housekeeper is changing him for the better, although he still hides guns all over his house. She takes him dancing in his own backyard since he still won't go out t a club.

We learn that the admiral had senators killed back in the day. He still believes it but his house keeper still doesn't. He sleeps in his own bed for once. He is starting to slip up. He is also falling for her more and more each day. A car tries to run him over but he pushes the house keeper out of the way and opens fire. It turns out it was just his neighbor.

The three of them plan on going through the house and taking everything from him that could be a weapon. He has spent his whole life collecting weapons. His family is taking everything from him. He manages to save one sword that is 300 years old. They take everything else. He keeps the sword with him everywhere he goes.

He has to go check the mail and it's a new guy he doesn't know. The only weapon he has is a knife. It freaks him out. He leaves the mail man outside while he goes for a pen but the guy comes inside and give him a pen. His daughter has gone to court to try and get power of attorney. The meds aren't working anymore. He is getting worse and worse. He is starting to doubt himself more and more as time goes on.

His house keeper is watching his personal logs, who the hell does she think she is to go into his private office and watch his videos? He goes to make another log and finds out that she was watching his videos. She tells him that she was just worried about him. He throws her own words in her face. She convinces hi that she is on his side. He believes her and tells her about his deadman switch. If he doesn't reset it every day it sends the life story of himself and the admiral to every news source in the world. He asks her to help him escape the country. He offers her half a million dollars if she will help him. She agrees.

The next morning he awakes with a nightmare of being killed, he finds his house keeper trying to hack his e-mail. She is trying to crack his deadman switch on her own. He pretends to have slept through it all. He leaves the house and follows her, he put a tracking device on her car. He follows her to her house where she gets some bags and puts them in her trunk. He breaks into her house, it's a mess and full of junk food. Doesn't fit with who she says she is at all. Not to mention that most of the house is empty. She even has one of those spy phones you see on the movies.

It seems he was right all along and the government is after him and the one person he started to trust is out to get him. When she is in the restroom he pulls out her cell phone, she spots him and pulls out her own gun. She tells him that if she doesn't believe in honor like he did. She isn't a soldier, she's a merc. He has no guns and she has one on him. He either has to give her the deadman's switch or die. He won't give her anything. I mean what is the point of a deadman switch if you just give it up.

His friend shows up and spots the gun and tries to be funny but she kills him and steward pulls out one last gun and kills her. He gets shot in the arm. He arms the deadman switch and fires it off. All the files are now sent out to all the news outlets in the world. He starts to clean up and then stops and calls 911, he can't remember what happened any more. His mind is gone, it was all too much for him.

It is a sad sad ending, he took out the admiral and lost his mind at the same time. As I said at the start of this, I love this movie. It is so good. It makes you think and makes you feel. This is an underrated masterpiece and everyone needs to check it out.  They don't make movies like this anymore. It's gold!

Welcome to a cross between a John Hughes movie and Star Wars. Which John Hughes movie? Weird science. Our story starts off with our heroes, make that nerds, at the convince store checking out a hot girl while her boyfriend defends her honor by making fools of them both. He is after all a jock.

She invites them to the party but her boyfriend quickly adds that they need a hot chick in order to get in. Their room is full of the coolest star wars toys ever! One of the nerds is falling in love with the writings of fan fiction. He longs to meet the writer, while his friend is trying to figure out how to get into the party. He wants the girl from store.

The friend who likes the mystery writer rips open a slave Leia toy. He has a crazy unrealistic idea. He is going to bring the toy alive and make a woman. The two friends get to work putting together the machine that will change their lives forever. A wild storm erupts in the house before the hottest action figure ever walks out, or well she is a woman now, in a slave Leia outfit. What guy doesn't want that?!

Well no guy I know would then show her Star Wars. I mean they are great movies, the first 6 anyways, but that's not what you do with a sexy woman with magic powers. She turns them into Han and Luke and lets them fight it out for her honor. Now that is more nerdy. I'd be down for that fight. They even have the force! How cool would that be?

She takes the boys out to a local bar. It isn't their type of place, at least until she makes it a Star Wars bar. I've never been much for hitting up clubs or bars but I'd go to that one in a heart beat. These guys are so nerdy that even at a Star Wars bar they can't fit in or find anyone who likes them.

At least until they start cracking jokes and turns the crowd against Darth Vader. Causing a fight that they escape from almost as soon as they start it. Bleeding cowards. Kevin Smith shows up to give the boys advice! It's Kevin Smith!!!!! He turns into their Yoda more or less. Do or do not, there is no try!

The boys show up at the party. The guy who likes the mystery writer tries to win some points with Leia, I mean why not? If you ever watched the old Weird Science TV show I always wanted to date Lisa. Beautiful, funny and magic! What's not to love?

The door opens and Leia is pulled into the house, leaving the guys outside. The two friends decide that they have to break into the party and free her. They go dressed as the pizza guys. Luke, the guy who likes the girl from the store hides out in the bathroom as the store girl comes into the restroom with her friend. She talks about how she is going to break up with that asshole jock. She wants a nice funny guy. He has his in!

Meanwhile Han makes his way upstairs looking for Leia who is alone in the room with the asshole jock. Luke goes outside and starts showing off his force powers to the crowd outside. The store girl is impressed. The crowd turns against him when he messes with their beer. Han pulls a George McFly trying to save Leia, he is only saved by the jock going outside to fight Luke.

Han tells Leia how much he loves her but she lets him down softy. Luke keeps the jock at bay using the force. Leia tells Han that she has to go, she can't stay anymore. When she leaves the force stops working and the jock can finally get Luke, who is now back to just being a loser. Han, also back to being a loser sits outside alone and sad. He is reading aloud from the fan fiction he loves when a girl repeats the same line. It turns out that she is the one who writes the fan fiction. She talks him into helping his friend, but before he can get there the girl from the store shows up. He knocks her down and Han kicks the jock where no man wants to be kicked. Saving the day.

Luke helps the store girl up and it looks as if they are about to kiss but she walks up. He tries to help the jock up but he slaps his hand away and the store girl pours her drink in his hair before kissing the nerd. He got the girl! They go off to watch Star Wars, his friend brings the writer and it ends with a scene right out of the Breakfast Club.

This short film is amazing and made for fans of the 80's. You can't love the movies people my age grew up with and not love this film. It was made for us and should be talked about more!

Welcome to another Documentary about Star Trek by the one and only William Shatner. This one about, well the title says it all, the captains. After all who better to take us on this journey than the OG captain himself. In case you haven't figured it out by now, I am a Trekkie, don't judge me.

We start off meeting a man who runs an airplane company, he tells us how he got started because of his love of Star Trek. A lot of people started in their careers due to the passion that this series inspired in all of us.

Shatner starts his journey off talking to Sir Patrick Steward. The two talk about how they became actors and what drove their ambitions. A teacher gave Steward a copy of Shakespeare and he fell in love. He just seemed to understand it in a way that as a child he shouldn't have been able to. It changed his life.

Next we meet Avery Brooks, the man who played Captain Benjamin Sisko in Deep Space Nine. This man does a little of everything. Not only is he an actor and musician but he is also a teacher.

Third Captain on our journey is the great actress Kate Mulgrew who played Captain Kathryn Janeway from Star Trek Voyager. She talked about how her father would only send her to New York if she went to collage. She told her father that she was going, she dropped out once she got two leading roles in plays and never looked back. Through she didn't tell her father about her decision.

Shatner goes horseback riding with the one and only Sam Beckett, or well Scott Bakula as he is called in real life. The man who played Captain Archer on Star Trek Enterprise. He talks about how he considers himself more of a singer than actor. That's crazy, I didn't know he was a singer, I just knew he is one of the greatest sci-fi actors of all time. After all Quantum Leap is a classic drama/Sci-Fi show that I grew up loving. Almost on par with the original Star Trek itself.

As Shatner talks to the other captains we also learn a bit about him. He uses their stories and experiences to tell his own stories. He talks about how he started on radio playing roles like Prince Charming. He started doing films and live TV in the 1950's.

Last up on his list of captains is the man who would take over the iconic role of Captain James T. Kirk, Chris Pine. They start off arm wrestling. It's a drawl. He talks about how he likes to do stunts. It makes him feel alive. Pine is a 3rd generation actor. He talks about how as a kid he wanted to be anything but an actor since everyone in his family did it. He wanted a career out in the real world, not following his parents footsteps. He did a play in class as a kid and it sparked his love for acting, changing the course of his life forever.

Jonathan Frakes, the man who played William T. Riker on Star Trek the Next Generation talks about how each Captain was a smart choice and why. How each one was drastically different than the last. And how that is what made the series so iconic.

Bakula said that he had no interest in being the next captain, they told him that he misunderstood, they wanted him to be the first captain. His show was to take place a 100 years before Kirk and he couldn't say yes fast enough. Shatner tells him about how they called him in to do the second pilot for the original Star Trek and that he said if he was going to do this they would have to make the show more fun and light hearted, thus changing the tone of the show and creating what we know today.

Steward says that he only signed the 6 year contract because he never thought the show would last that long. The Next Generation lasted 7 seasons and 4 movies.

Shatner takes through his different roles in theatre. He tells us about how all of the captains got their starts in theatre, playing important roles on stage before going onto acting on screen.

Steward talks about how he had never worked in Hollywood before Next Gen and how he told the other actors that they weren't there to have fun. They were there to work but the other actors taught him that he could have fun while still doing great work.

Bakula talks about how he loved the OG Star Trek because of the relationship between Kirk, Bones and Spock. He said that was what brought him to the show. I couldn't agree more. That's what I always loved about the show. It made it so much more than it was. I disagree with him when he said that Enterprise didn't create the same thing. While Archer, Trip and T'Pol weren't as great a trio they were a close second. He pulled it off better than he thought he had.

The two men talk about how working on set killed their relationships with their wives. It's sad that following your dreams make it that hard for them to have personal lives. Television is a jealous mistress. Steward also talks about how he regrets the end of both of his marriages. He tells Shatner that he always knew that his work came first, always. Mulgrew  talks about how her children resented her for not spending enough time with her kids. While doing Voyager she was a single mother. It was hard for her but she did it. Shatner talks about how impossible it is for these things to pass. Mulgrew agrees with him but if you really think about, she did so much more than anyone else. She survived as a single mother and the lead role in a 7 year TV series. She is an example of excellence. Brooks took more of a philosophical outlook on the whole thing, saying it isn't good or bad it is just how it is and his wife always understood that. He would be the coolest teacher, how did I get stuck with the bullshit one I have?

In-between the interviews they go around Star Trek conventions and look at all the fans. These shows and films have changed so many people's lives. It is amazing how much a 3 season show has done to reshape the world and everyone in it. Shatner says that he never really understood it until he started working on this project and talking to Steward.

This was such an awe-inspiring look inside the world of a universe that has changed the real world just as much as the landcape of TV and film for all time. Beam me up Scotty!

Welcome to another movie that Kevin Smith helped one of his friends make. This one is by Jeff Anderson, the man who brought Randal Graves to life.

It starts out at a bachelor party with everyone having fun. As they should, full of naked girls and a good time. They even have a girl who is sleeping with the guests but the bachelor turns her down, as he should after all he is about to get married. Soon to be married men should be faithful.

Well, if he was set to be married. Turns out that he really just got dumped but hasn't told anyone yet. He didn't cancel the party because he was too ashamed to admit it. That and his best friend came out just for the wedding and didn't want it being cancelled to ruin his good time. Great best friend am I right?

Jeff Anderson and his friend are at a random house and break in. The owner of the house wakes up and the boys have to move quickly not to be seen.

They don't really steal anything, just slant all the pictures. Trying to cause the guy to go crazy. Not for any real reason, just for fun. The bachelor just wants to know why the wedding was called off. Which is really sad, to be dumped and not to know why. He flies to New Jersey with his now ex-girlfriend. He wants to know what happened but she tells him that he had his chance to talk to her about and he didn't take it. Now it is too late.

Everyone is blaming him for the breakup but she assures people that it isn't his fault. She just won't say what the reason is. Meanwhile Anderson's friend was so busy checking out this lady that he ran over her dog with his lawn mower. What the hell is that? Poor dog, no dog should die like that. It's just painful!

The bachelor meets up with Anderson and the friend for some drinks. He tries to tell them the wedding is off but they cut him off and tell him how lucky he is and how happy they are. It makes it so much more painful for him when he pulls off the bandaid and tells them it is off. Almost instantly they switch gears and tell him how happy they are it is off. They were blowing smoke out of their asses, they never liked them together.

We finally find out that the reason she called off the wedding is that she believes that he no longer loves her. That their relationship has become too comfortable. He tries to pick up a girl at the bar because his friends made him. He now gets a lecture from this girl about how he doesn't really love her, because if he did he would have chased after her. He would have gone out of his way to find out why they broke up. Something that he feels is right deep down inside. As he storms off she asks for a drink, something she has been turning down since he showed up. We find out that she is an alcoholic and he just got her to jump off the wagon. Now that is funny!

We find out that one of the reasons that Anderson and his friend break into people's house and mess with things because their friend owns a home security firm and need more clients. They don't want to steal from people so they just scare them. 

The bachelor is starting to see that maybe he was so afraid of losing out on being single that he was taking his girlfriend for-granted. Something that he is starting to regret.

So for bachelor party number two Anderson's friend hired a stripper, turns out the girl stripper is a guy. He hired a drag queen. The guys mother comes home in the middle of the show. How insane is that. I love this movie for the awkward humor that runs throughout it.

Like Kevin Smith's movies and Vulgar the dialogue in this movie is amazing. They way they talk is so sophisticated and high class. I need to learn how to write like this.

The boys learn from the drag queen that his ex was at a gay bar the night before. Now the bachelor never knew why she called off the wedding and is starting to think that she might be gay. To blow off steam the guys break into the guys house again but this time the man is ready for them. He starts to shoot at them, they take off running. The man has finally had enough and decided to protect himself. Anderson dropped the keys while running from the gun man.

The four friends end up sleeping in the car in front of the house, Anderson goes and fetches the keys while everyone sleeps. Once more they avoid getting caught. The Bachelor goes to his exes house in order to talk to her, trying to make amends. Mostly since he almost got shot. The two of them finally have it out. A real heart to heart. He admits to being scared and wanting to avoid the marriage. Just go back to dating. She tells him that he lost her long before that. He never showed he cared and he makes his case.

It turns out that the exes best friend is pregnant with Anderson's baby. They embrace and the bachelor and the ex get back together. They give Anderson and his new girlfriend the tickets to their honeymoon. A sweet end to a great movie about love and second chances. Jeff Anderson should really make some more movies, as long as he still has time for Clerks 3 I'm a happy camper!

 
An earlier film by Broad Strokes, this one also about Harry Potter. Or well the world before Harry Potter.This time being about Dumbledore and his fight with his good friend Grindelwald.

It starts off with them both crashing onto a beach, the wind knocked out of them both, along with Dumbledore's brother and sister, who are annoyed with them both. They very quickly take off, causing a rift between the two friends. We see how Dumbledore starts to change his views on their place in the world. Slowly becoming the man that we all know and love.

They play on the hinted at relationship between Grindelwald and Dumbledore to nice affect. The two men are at a standoff until Grindelwald attacks Dumbledore's brother and Dumbledore himself takes action. The two men are almost evenly matched.

The two brothers do a combo attack but Grindelwald takes off coming back to attack the younger brother and making it a fair fight once more. Dumbledore over powers him, giving his brother a chance to kill him but Dumbledore steps in the way, saving their foe.

The two men do the killing curse on each other but Dumbledore's sister stops them and is hit with both curses. The two men part ways. A sad tale of a friendship, a partnership crashing down to a horrible bitter ending.

This production company, Broad Strokes, is an amazing company. The do such great work and tell such great stories. Pulling at the heart strings far more than they have any right too. I love them. Far too much!

So since we are finished with Kevin Smith I thought I would do the film made by his good friend Bryan Johnson. Now if you know him from Tell 'em Steve Dave or from the show Comic Book Men then you know he has a much darker personality than Smith and you can see it in this movie.

It opens up simply on a clown nose. What could be more innocent or terrifying than that? Clowns, something that was created to bring joy and happiness to people has some how been transformed to something full of horror and dread in our society.

We open on our hero, dressed as a clown rushing to get to his job only to find some guy sleeping in his back seat. The man swears that he said he could sleep there but our hero has no time for that.

He finally makes it to his job only to find the police there arresting the father. The party is over, and he forgoes payment due to the trauma that the family just witnessed. So the day was a bust, a great start for our hero on this journey. 

Bryan Johnson plays his best friend and the two go over everything. It has the same high level dialogue that marks Kevin Smith' work. I love the way these people talk. It's what draws me to these movies, I would love to be able to write conversations the way they do.

His mother lives in a retirement home and he is behind on paying her bills, not to mention his own rent. Our hero played by Brian O'Halloran, goes to visit his mother and she immediately tears into him and starts to take a swing at him. What a great mother!

He decides to show up as a slutty dressed clown at bachelor parties and shock the groom, kind of a gag type thing. He decides to call himself Bulgar. On his first job he gets attacked by three men and they precede to rape him. It is a dark twisted scene that only Bryan Johnson could bring us.

After they are done with him they leave him on the ground beaten. They take the video they filmed of it with them. He goes home and loses his mind. Even tries cutting himself. Bryan Johnson comes to check on him and finds him a wreck and they talk it out. O'Halloran is on the verge of losing his cool, he can't handle it. He doesn't want to deal with it. He wants to move on and forget it, something that he won't be able to do.

But he does try. He tries to go back to his normal life but it isn't something that he can do. He just doesn't feel the joy anymore. He is late for his first job since what happened and this is where Brain Quinn of Impractical Jokers fame comes in. We find out that what cause the problem is the abusive husband from the beginning of the movie has his daughter hostage. He is freaking out because she filed for divorce.

Vulgar sneaks into the house and tackles the guy. Saving the little girl and becoming a hero. Kevin Smith's character sees him on tv and decides to make a show for him. He could make a great deal of money off of him. It takes some convincing but at long last O'Halloran as Flappy the clown gets his own tv show. He thinks his mother would be proud of him, he is far from correct. She tells him that he is a loser who can't do anything, he is a useless waste of space.

Boy is she wrong. People love him, he starts to make a name for himself. It is everything he ever wanted. Even a movie is offered to him. He wastes some of his money on buying his horribly mother a tv. Not something she deserved.

The man who raped Vulgar has a daughter who loves Flappy, he finds out about it and black mails him. He reminds the man that he has a tape of them having sex. O'Halloran is between a rock and a hard place. He doesn't really have any choice in the matter. He agrees to the terms.

He is told to drop off the money in one car and pick up the video tape in another. He drops off the money like he is ordered too and then changes his mind. Just like he was told. Turns out that the man wasn't in on it and now the money is gone and no tape to be had. He was scammed.

The man who rapped him and his sons corner him in the restroom and demand a second show from him. Telling him to either have sex with him a second time or the tape goes out to the public. He decides that the only thing to do is kill him. Johnson goes to Jason Mewes to buy a gun.

O'Halloran and Johnson get ready to go in and kill them, they are scared and second guessing themselves, after all neither one of them have ever done anything like this before. They are good people with their backs to the wall. The plan was for Johnson to storm in after O'Halloran went in and kill them all. But before he could go in he gets mugged.

O'Halloran tries to shoot them with his own gun but nothing comes out, it's blank after blank. That is till the younger son plays with the gun and accidentally kills himself. Johnson and his mugger show up at the door and the mugger is shot and killed by the older son who is killed by the mugger at the same time. The father, the main raper runs off and Johnson runs home as O'Halloran gives chase.

O'Halloran catches up with his raper and they have a stand off before O'Halloran kills him. Getting his revenge for everything that happened. He runs off as the police start to show up. He goes back to work on his TV show and lives his life. Finally free from everything that happened.

This is a dark movie that I love so much. It is such a great movie that no one ever talks about. That is a shame.

This is Kevin Smith's most important movie, at least for me. I went to go see the road show when it went to Austin. It was such a fun show. Kevin Smith answering questions, funny as always. I chickened out of asking any questions, what can I say, I was a punk back then. Maybe still am a bit.

But as fun as the movie was, the night after was one of the funnest of my life. I even wrote a movie about it. But if you want to know what happened now, you can listen to the pod where me and Saul talk about it.

Wow that audio needs to be cleaned up. Anyways, that is my personal reasoning for loving the movie so much. Now let us jump to the movie itself.

We start on protests for the funeral of a gay kid. In the movie the are called the five points Trinity church and their leader is a pastor named Abin Cooper. Anyone who watches the news knows that they are based off of the Westboro Baptist Church and their batshit crazy leader Fred Phelps.

Our story starts off being about three friends who live in that town and meet a girl online who wants to have sex, but only with all three of them at the same time. The three friends go to her house. Now I love my homeboys, I do. But I would never have a threesome or in this case a foursome with them. That is just too weird for my taste. I'm boring.

On the way to her house they accidentally hit the sheriff's car but he couldn't stop them, because he was busy, cheating on his wife with some guy. He sends one of his deputies to go find them. The deputy isn't happy, he was already off the clock.

 The three friends finish beers she gave them and they pass out. It turns out that she drugged them.  One of the friends wakes up to find himself in the Five Points Trinity Church as Abin Cooper is talking. The kid is scared out of his mind. Michael Parks as Cooper is terrifying. That man is such a great actor.

So while one of the kids is locked in the cage a man is tied to the cross. Cooper gives a sermon about the evils of homosexuality and shoots the guy in the head, dropping him into a hole with the other two kids. The kid from the cage is now being tied up to be killed. These people are sick. Like really really sick.

The other two friends start to try and escape as the lid on the basement. They saw their friend about to die and are scared out of their mind. Who can blame them?

The deputy shows up at the church and spots the car that he is looking for. Cooper blames his granddaughter and tries to talk the deputy into leaving. While inside he two kids escape but Ralph Garman goes after them. One of the kids gets a gun and fires, hitting Ralph Garman and getting himself. The deputy hears and calls it in but then gets shot. The Sheriff is now alone and Copper tells the Sheriff that he has pictures of him with another man. He blackmails him.

Enter John Goodman. He gets a call in the middle of the night asking about the Five Point Trinity Church. Back at the church they think that two of the kids were killed in the shooting, but one of them was just faking. He makes a run for it. Phelps is even mentioned in this film, as a way to state that Cooper isn't Phelps. Goodman is sent to deal with Cooper.

The kid who faked his death makes a run for it while his friend watches on tied to the cross. The love of Irony, the sheriff shot the kid trying to escape. Goodman tears him a new one as he takes over the situation. Goodman's second in command is shot in the head by Cooper. A firefight starts as Goodman talks to his boss. They want him to go into the church but Goodman is fighting and demands in writing that he and his men have order. He demands it in text or email. They want everyone in the building to be killed.

One of the girls makes it out and asks for help escaping. They order her dead. The man who she surrendered to ordered her back to the house but she wouldn't go but her mother shot him and forced her back into the house. These people are crazy.

The last of the three friends ends up in a room with the girl who tried to escape. She has a gun on him and is asking for help. He is having a hard time agreeing to help one of these people. She points out that the Feds will kill him to and lump him in with the rest of them. He tells her to just kill him, because they tied him to a cross to die. Why would he trust any of them. Her mother storms into the room and attacks the boy, her daughter shoots her and saves his life. She didn't mean too, the two of them fought over the gun and it went off.

She orders all the other little kids to go into the attic and not to open it for anyone, no matter what. The firefight starts to heat up. The Sheriff is killed while hiding in his car. The girl and escaped prisoner make it out of the house and try and talk Goodman out of doing all of this. Tells him about the babies in the attic and everything. The agent who was against this to begin with kills them both just as a giant bullhorn sounds.

Cooper and his family drop their weapons thinking that it is God calling about the end times. It turns out that it wasn't. That the horn blasts were neighbors just messing with the Coopers as payback. We find out that Cooper will spend the rest of his life in jail without so much as a trial. A sad testimony for how far our country has fallen. Even an evil sick freak like him deserves his day in court, because what if the next guy is innocent? It is a slippery slope that once we take rights away from some people we lose rights for all.

Goodman says at the end of the film that people do the craziest things when they feel entitled and I think that perfectly sums up modern America. Something that we as a people need to change before it is too late.